The World According to Clarkson

The World According to Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9780141901350

Category: Humor

Page: 352

View: 941

Jeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works - and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour. In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that: • Too much science is bad for our health • '70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed of • Hunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor clever • We must work harder to get rid of cricket • He liked the Germans (well, sometimes) With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant. Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it. The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing . . . , For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be? Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller and presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Carscan be downloaded on the App Store.
Categories: Humor

Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy, along with a card and letter. 'We were very sorry that Jeremy Clarkson
was not available to receive our Christmas gift of a bicycle in person,' he said. 'It
is important that someone who is as prominent and influential as Jeremy
Clarkson ...

Author: Gwen Russell

Publisher: Kings Road Publishing

ISBN: 9781843586128

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 330

View: 339

Love him or loathe him, you cannot ignore him: Motoring aficionado, comic writer, TV presenter, engineering buff, journalist, author and unapologetic bon viveur, Jeremy Clarkson is one of Britain's most controversial personalities, and in this riveting and entertaining biography, frank views and hilariously candid anecdotes appear alongside the life story of the self-confessed Eurosceptic, chain-smoking petrol head. After a stint as a travelling salesman, Clarkson set up his own press agency, and soon found fame and fortune with BBC's Top Gear. Notoriously hit in the face awith a banana meringue pie on receipt of his honorary degree, he has been accused of calling cyclists 'muesli freaks' and BMW employees 'Nazis'. From causing huge disruption, to defending the rights of drivers, to fisticuffs with Piers Morgan, this is the true story of a colourful life lived at breakneck speed.
Categories: Biography & Autobiography

As I Was Saying

As I Was Saying

As I Was Saying... is the seventh book in Jeremy Clarkson's best-selling The World According to Clarkson series. *** Crikey, the world according to Clarkson's been a funny old place of late .

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9781405924160

Category: Humor

Page: 352

View: 384

As I Was Saying... is the seventh book in Jeremy Clarkson's best-selling The World According to Clarkson series. *** Crikey, the world according to Clarkson's been a funny old place of late . . . For a while, Jeremy could be found in his normal position as the tallest man on British television but, more recently, he appears to have been usurped by a pretend elephant. But on paper the real Jeremy remains at the helm. That's as it should be. For nearly thirty years he has been fearlessly leading the charge as one the best comic writers in the country. And in 2015, he shows no sign of slowing down. So, whether it's pondering If Jesus might have been better off being born in New Zealand Why reflexive pronoun abuse is the worst thing in the world How Pam Ayres's head trumps Gordon Gecko's underpants Or what a television presenter with time on his hands gets up to Jeremy is still trying to make sense of all the big stuff. Circumstances change. Nothing's forever. But As I Was Saying provides glorious proof that Jeremy remains as funny, puzzled, excitable, outspoken, insightful and thought-provoking as ever. As if you ever doubted it . . . *** Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Categories: Humor

Driven to Distraction

Driven to Distraction

Jeremy Clarkson is once more Driven to Distraction. Brace yourself. Clarkson's back.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9780141946283

Category: Humor

Page: 480

View: 126

Jeremy Clarkson is once more Driven to Distraction. Brace yourself. Clarkson's back. And he'd like to tell you what he thinks about some of the most awe-inspiring, earth-shatteringly fast and jaw-droppingly cool cars in the world (oh, and a few irredeemable disasters...). Or he would if he could just get one or two things off his chest first. Matters such as: * The prospect of having Terry Wogan as president * Why you'll never see a woman driving a Lexus * The unforeseen consequences of inadequate birth control * Why everyone should spend a weekend with a digger Driven to Distraction is Jeremy Clarkson at full throttle. So buckle up, sit tight and enjoy the ride. You're in for a hell of a lot of laughs. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Categories: Humor

The Top Gear Years

The Top Gear Years

The Top Gear Years brings together Jeremy Clarkson's collected magazine columns for the first time. Clarkson at his pithy, provocative, hilarious best We now know all about the world according to Clarkson.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9780718198015

Category: Humor

Page: 512

View: 955

The Top Gear Years brings together Jeremy Clarkson's collected magazine columns for the first time. Clarkson at his pithy, provocative, hilarious best We now know all about the world according to Clarkson. In a series of bestselling books Jeremy has revealed it to be a puzzling, frustrating place where all too often the lunatics seem to be running the asylum. But in The Top Gear Years, we get something rather different. Because ten years ago, at an ex-RAF aerodrome in Surrey, Jeremy and his friends built a world that was rather more to his liking: they called it Top Gear HQ. And Top Gear is for Jeremy what the jungle is for Tarzan: the perfect place to work and play. But they didn't stop there . . . With this corner of Surrey sorted out, Jeremy and the boys decided to have a crack at the rest of the world. With Top Gear Live charging through with the subtlety of a touring heavy rock band and far flung outposts across the globe from North America to China - an empire of petrol-headed upon which the sun never set. And all along Jeremy was writing about it in Top Gear magazine. Here, collected for the first time, are the fruits of his labours: the cars, the hijinx, the pleasure and the pain. Brilliantly written and laugh out loud funny. The Top Gear Years follows Jeremy Clarkson's many bestselling titles including Round the Bend and The World according to Clarkson series. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Jeremy Clarkson is very funny and his well-honed political incorrectness is a joy. .' - Daily Telegraph Jeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun, the Sunday Times, the Rochdale Observer, the Wolverhampton Express & Star, all of the Associated Kent Newspapers and Lincolnshire Life. Today he is the tallest person working in British television.
Categories: Humor

Really

Really

Because there's still plenty to get cross about, including: · Why nothing good ever came out of a meeting · Muesli's unmentionable side effects · Navigating London when every single road is being dug up at once · People who read online ...

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9781405939089

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 208

View: 498

JEREMY CLARKSON'S LATEST - AND MOST OUTRAGEOUS - TAKE ON THE WORLD CLARKSON'S BACK - AND THIS TIME HE'S PUTTING HIS FOOT DOWN From his first job as a travelling sales rep selling Paddington Bears to his latest wheeze as a gentleman farmer, Jeremy Clarkson's love of cars has just about kept him out of trouble. But in a persistently infuriating world, sometimes you have to race full-throttle at the speed-bumps. Because there's still plenty to get cross about, including: · Why nothing good ever came out of a meeting · Muesli's unmentionable side effects · Navigating London when every single road is being dug up at once · People who read online reviews of dishwashers · ****ing driverless cars Buckle up for a bumpy ride - you're holding the only book in history to require seatbelts . . . Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: Brilliant . . . Laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . Will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Categories: Biography & Autobiography

If You d Just Let Me Finish

If You   d Just Let Me Finish

His name, sadly, was not Jeremy Clarkson, but we might not have been any more surprised if it had been.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9781405939065

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 208

View: 828

Clarkson is back with a brand new book of hilarious stories and observations about our gone-wrong world. ___________ In November 2016 we woke up to the news that the forthright presenter of a popular television programme had become the most powerful man on the planet. His name, sadly, was not Jeremy Clarkson, but we might not have been any more surprised if it had been. Because the world seems to have taken a decidedly odd turn since Jeremy last reflected on the state of things between the covers of a book. But who better than JC to help us navigate our way through the mess? And while he's being trying to make sense of it all he's discovered one or two things along the way, including - The disabling effects of being vegan - How Blackpool might be improved by drilling a hole through it - The problem with meditation - A perfect location for rebuilding Palmyra - Why Tom Cruise can worship lizards if he wants to It's all been a bit unsettling. But don't worry. If You'd Just Let Me Finish is Clarkson at his best. He may be as bemused, exasperated, amused and surprised as the rest of us, but in a world gone crazy, thank God someone has still got his head screwed on ... Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant...laugh-out-loud' - Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny...will have you in stiches' - Time Out 'Very funny...I cracked up laughing on the tube' - Evening Standard
Categories: Biography & Autobiography

Clarkson on Cars

Clarkson on Cars

No one in the business is taller. In this collection of classic Clarkson, stretching back to the mid-1980s, he's pulled together the car columns and stories with which he made his name.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9780141916859

Category: Transportation

Page: 368

View: 584

Jeremy Clarkson gets under the bonnet in Clarkson on Cars - a collection of his motoring journalism. Jeremy Clarkson has been driving cars, writing about them and occasionally voicing his opinions on the BBC's Top Gear for twenty years. No one in the business is taller. In this collection of classic Clarkson, stretching back to the mid-1980s, he's pulled together the car columns and stories with which he made his name. As coal mines closed and house prices exploded to a soundtrack of men in make-up playing synthesizers, Jeremy was already waxing lyrical on topics as useful and diverse as: * The perils of bicycle ownership * Why Australians - not Brits - need bull bars * Why soon only geriatrics will be driving BMWs * The difficultly of deciding on the best car for your wedding * Why Jesus's dad would have owned a Nissan Bluebird * And why it is that bus lanes cause traffic jams Irreverent, damn funny and offensive to almost everyone, this is writing with its foot to the floor, the brake lines cut and the speed limit smashed to smithereens. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Categories: Transportation

Can You Make This Thing Go Faster

Can You Make This Thing Go Faster

The hilarious new collection of stories and observations from Jeremy Clarkson - setting our off-kilter world to rights with thigh-slapping wit once again These days, you might know him better as a tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer, but ...

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9781405946520

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 400

View: 290

Pre-order the hilarious new collection of stories and observations from Jeremy Clarkson - setting our off-kilter world to rights with thigh-slapping wit once again. Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Categories: Biography & Autobiography

Jeremy Clarkson Borrowed My Blog Volume 2

Jeremy Clarkson Borrowed My Blog   Volume 2

BBC Top Gear presenter, newspaper columnist, author and jeans wearer Jeremy
Clarkson has admitted he actually knows nothing at all about cars. In a frank
interview with a chap called Frank from Exchange and Mart, Jeremy has revealed
 ...

Author: Edward Moss

Publisher: Lulu.com

ISBN: 9781447509936

Category:

Page:

View: 412

Categories:

Jeremy Clarkson borrowed my Blog Volume 4

Jeremy Clarkson borrowed my Blog   Volume 4

To those who have, a big thank you! A strange name for a book you might say – “
Jeremy Clarkson borrowed my Blog”. Well I am convinced that he did. Borrow my
blog that is! Well read it. Or even come across it by accident and perhaps made ...

Author: Edward Moss

Publisher: Lulu.com

ISBN: 9781291369137

Category:

Page:

View: 487

Categories:

Jeremy Clarkson borrowed my Blog Volume 3

Jeremy Clarkson borrowed my Blog   Volume 3

Following his description of the former Prime Minister as a “oneeyed Scottish idiot
”, Jeremy Clarkson has had death threats, abusive phone calls, people spitting at
him and even Sugarbabes and James Blunt CD's sent directly to his home.

Author: Edward Moss

Publisher: Lulu.com

ISBN: 9781447530169

Category:

Page:

View: 964

Categories:

Jeremy Clarkson Borrowed My Blog Volume 1

Jeremy Clarkson Borrowed My Blog   Volume 1

JEREMY CLARKSON BORROWED MY BLOG VOLUME 1. Introduction. A
strange name for a book you might say – “Jeremy Clarkson borrowed my Blog”.
Well I am convinced that he did. Borrow my blog that is! Well read it. Or even
come ...

Author: Edward Moss

Publisher: Lulu.com

ISBN: 9781447506621

Category:

Page:

View: 718

Categories:

How Hard Can It Be

How Hard Can It Be

How Hard Can it Be? is the fourth hilarious volume in Jeremy Clarkson's The World According to Clarkson series. How hard can it be... To build a power station without upsetting the eco-mentalists?

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9780141960258

Category: Humor

Page: 352

View: 970

How Hard Can it Be? is the fourth hilarious volume in Jeremy Clarkson's The World According to Clarkson series. How hard can it be... To build a power station without upsetting the eco-mentalists? To seek world domination if you've been hit the ugly stick? For the Met Office to get yesterday's weather right? In volume four of The World According to Clarkson, Jeremy Clarkson pours scorn on the nonsensical, the dumb, the idiotic and the plain foolish in his continuing quest to discover where exactly we've all gone wrong. Along the way he ponders: • Whether conquering France might solve the immigration problem • What happened when you ignore proper warning labels • What would happen if we turned the internet off Often controversial, frequently scathing but always funnier than James May, Jeremy Clarkson shows us how we could so easily make the world a better place. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
Categories: Humor

Round the Bend

Round the Bend

Jeremy Clarkson gets REALLY riled up in Round the Bend What's it like to drive a car that's actively trying to kill you?

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9780718158422

Category: Humor

Page: 432

View: 750

Jeremy Clarkson gets REALLY riled up in Round the Bend What's it like to drive a car that's actively trying to kill you? This and many other burning questions trouble Jeremy Clarkson as he sets out to explore the world from the safety of four wheels. Avoiding the legions of power-crazed traffic wombles attempting to block highway and byway, he he: - Shows how the world of performance cars may be likened to Battersea Dogs Home - Reveals why St Moritz may be the most bonkers town in all of the world - Reminds us that Switzerland is so afraid of snow that any flakes falling on the road are immediately arrested - Argues that washing a car is a waste of time Funny, globe-trotting, irreverent and sometimes downright rude, Round the Bend is packed with curious and fascinating but otherwise hopelessly useless stories and facts about everything under the sun (and just occasionally cars). It's Jeremy Clarkson at his brilliant best. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Categories: Humor

Is It Really Too Much To Ask

Is It Really Too Much To Ask

Is It Really Too Much To Ask? is the fifth book in Jeremy Clarkson's bestselling The World According to Clarkson series.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9781405914147

Category: Humor

Page: 480

View: 755

Is It Really Too Much To Ask? is the fifth book in Jeremy Clarkson's bestselling The World According to Clarkson series. Well, someone's got to do it: in a world which simply will not see reason, Jeremy sets off on another quest to beat a path of sense through all the silliness and idiocy. And there's no knowign what might catch Jeremy's eye along the way. It could be: -The merits of Stonehenge as a business model -Why all meetings are a waste of time -The theft of the Queen's cows -One Norwegian man's unique approach to showing his gratitude -Fitting a burglar alarm to a tortoise -Or how Lou Reed was completely wrong about what makes a perfect day Pithy and provocative, this is Clarkson at his best, taking issue with whatever nonsense gets in the way of his search for all that's worth celebrating. Why should we be forced to accept stuff that's a bit rubbish? Shouldn't things work? Why doesn't someone care? I mean, is it really too much to ask? It's a good thing we've still got Jeremy out there, still looking, without fear or favour, for the answers. Jeremy Clarkson becomes the hilarious voice of a nation once more in Is It Really Too Much To Ask?, Volume 5 of The World According To Clarkson, following bestselling titles The World According to Clarkson, And Another Thing, For Crying Out Loud and How Hard Can It Be?. Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out Jeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. He now writes for the Sun and the Sunday Times and is the tallest person working in British television.
Categories: Humor

What Could Possibly Go Wrong

What Could Possibly Go Wrong

What Could Possibly Go Wrong... is the sixth book in Jeremy Clarkson's bestselling The World According to Clarkson series. No one writes about cars like Jeremy Clarkson.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9781405919388

Category: Humor

Page: 512

View: 364

What Could Possibly Go Wrong... is the sixth book in Jeremy Clarkson's bestselling The World According to Clarkson series. No one writes about cars like Jeremy Clarkson. While most correspondents are too buys diving straight into BHP, MPG and MPH, Jeremy appreciates that there are more important things to life. Don't worry, we'll get to the cars. Eventually. But first we should consider: · The case for invading France · The overwhelming appeal of a nice sit-down · The inconvenience of gin and tonic · Why clothes are no better than ice cream · Spot-welding with the Duchess of Kent · And why Denmark is the best place in the world Armed only with conviction, curiosity, enthusiasm and a stout pair of trousers, Jeremy hurtles around the world - along motorway, autoroute, freeway and autobahn - in search of answers to life's puzzles and ponderings without forethought or fear for his own safety. What, you have to ask, could possibly go wrong... Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard Jeremy Clarkson began his career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun, theSunday Times, the Rochdale Observer, the Wolverhampton Express & Star, all of the Associated Kent Newspapers and Lincolnshire Life. Today he is the tallest person working in British television.
Categories: Humor

Jeremy Clarkson s Hot 100

Jeremy Clarkson s Hot 100

A look at Jeremy Clarkson's idea of the 100 fastest, coolest, biggest, smallest, and strangest cars of the last four decades.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Virgin Books Limited

ISBN: 1852271892

Category: Automobile driving

Page: 143

View: 850

A look at Jeremy Clarkson's idea of the 100 fastest, coolest, biggest, smallest, and strangest cars of the last four decades. Clarkson also includes his top ten fluff magnets from the XR3I to the Mercedes 500SL, and his top ten motor movies.
Categories: Automobile driving

Born to be Riled

Born to be Riled

In Born to be Riled, Clarkson takes a look at the world through his windscreeen, shakes his head at what he sees and then puts the boot in.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9780141028996

Category: Humor

Page: 576

View: 329

This collection contains a selection of Jeremy Clarkson's journalism to date, from his Top Gear and Sunday Times articles. They transcend the framework of motoring to offer acute observations about people, places and the way we live. This ed. originally published: London: BBC, 2000.
Categories: Humor

Don t Stop Me Now

Don t Stop Me Now

Jeremy Clarkson knows there's more to life than cars.

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher:

ISBN: 071814905X

Category: Automobiles

Page: 362

View: 608

Jeremy Clarkson knows there's more to life than cars. There is, after all, a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered. So, before he gets on with the job in hand, he'd like to take some time out to consider the bigger picture. Don't worry, he'll get on to the car bit eventually, but before we do, there's time to learn about: Why Galapagos tortoises are all mental France, reduced to the size of a small coconut Why Jeremy Paxman and the bass guitarist of AC/DC aren't so very different The problems of being English and God's most stupid creation And then there's the cars: Whether it's the poxiest little runabout or an exotic, firebreathing supercar, anything on four wheels is approached without fear or favour. What emerges from the ashes is not always pretty. But it is, invariably, very, very funny.
Categories: Automobiles