Why Cats are Assholes

Why Cats are Assholes

Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.

Author: Liz Miele

Publisher: Skyhorse

ISBN: 1510756221

Category: Humor

Page: 192

View: 806

Most people love cats. They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you? While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection. How to Deal with Your Asshole Cat is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around. With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves. Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, How to Deal with Your Asshole Cat is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.
Categories: Humor

Why Cats are Assholes

Why Cats are Assholes

CATS. DO. EXIST. There are at least 102 cat breeds! Did you know that? I kinda did, but people don't care or fuss over cat breeds like they do dogs. They have them, but they don't matter (clearly my opinion). Most cats are just domestic ...

Author: Liz Miele

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9781510756236

Category: Humor

Page: 192

View: 498

Most people love cats. They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you? While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection. Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around. With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves. Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.
Categories: Humor

Cats Are Asshole

Cats Are Asshole

THIE BEST COLORING BOOK FOR A CAT LOVER If anyone is a cat lover, they will instantly relate to the unique illustrations in this book.

Author: Cucu Vic Blue

Publisher:

ISBN: 9798585720208

Category:

Page: 54

View: 447

THIE BEST COLORING BOOK FOR A CAT LOVER If anyone is a cat lover, they will instantly relate to the unique illustrations in this book. They will laugh and giggle while coloring these pages because of how true the designs are. Cats, just like us, can be assholes. Sometimes it seems like they know exactly what they are doing, and they take a perverse pleasure in pissing you off. They are cold, calculating assholes that aren't shy about it. This book includes hilarious illustrations of cats being mean or evil for no particular reason. Why else would they poop in dog's food bowl or sit on your pizza? To view sample pages, refer to the back cover if you're using your mobile phone. If you're on your computer, click the "Look Inside" button above the book cover. BOOK DETAILS: Dimension: Large 8.5 x 11 inches (about 21 x 28 cm) Cover: Soft glossy cover 25 unique illustrations printed on one side. The reverse page is printed grey to minimize bleed through. Test pages available at the back of the book to test your coloring materials. Suitable for gel pens, color pencils, and crayons. BEST CAT LOVERS GIFT IDEA - GET A COPY NOW!!!!
Categories:

Intermediate Thermodynamics

Intermediate Thermodynamics

“No, I just don't like cats. Or cat hair all over my clothes.” “How can you not like cats?” Esther leaned over to stroke Sally's back. “Cats are great.” “Cats are assholes.” He held a hand out tentatively, and Sally smushed her ...

Author: Susannah Nix

Publisher: Haver Street Press

ISBN: 9780999094853

Category: Fiction

Page: 310

View: 439

Aerospace engineer Esther Abbott doesn’t believe in love, but she’s perfectly happy to hate her annoying screenwriter neighbor, Jonathan. Until she’s forced to strike a devil’s bargain with him: he distracts her best friend from a mouth-breather ex, and in return Esther will help him with the sci-fi script he’s writing. Her patience is put to the test when it’s time to fulfill her end of the deal. But the more time she spends with her nemesis, the more hate turns into attraction—and attraction into something much deeper. As Esther’s carefully constructed defenses start to crumble, will love be her undoing or her salvation? This sweet, enemies-to-lovers romance is the second in a series of standalone rom-coms featuring heroines who work in STEM fields. “I loved Esther and Jonathan’s journey from awkwardness to comfortable friendship to love.” —Smart B*tches, Trashy Books “If you’re a fan of geeky romances, you need to pick this one up. It’s geek-rom at its finest.” —Pervy Ladies Books “Entertaining, often hilarious, relatable, intelligent, realistic romance at its absolute best.” —Fic Central
Categories: Fiction

Chemistry Lessons Box Set Books 1 3

Chemistry Lessons Box Set  Books 1 3

“No, I just don't like cats. Or cat hair all over my clothes.” “How can you not like cats?” Esther leaned over to stroke Sally's back. “Cats are great.” “Cats are assholes.” He held a hand out tentatively, and Sally smushed her face ...

Author: Susannah Nix

Publisher: Haver Street Press

ISBN: 9781950087013

Category: Fiction

Page: 877

View: 674

Dive into the first three books of the Chemistry Lessons series, featuring smart, relatable, women who work in STEM fields. Laugh, cry, and swoon along with them as they navigate life, careers, friendship, and falling in love. Book 1: Remedial Rocket Science After scoring her dream IT job, geeky computer whiz Melody moves to Los Angeles. But she’s in for an unpredictable ride when she realizes her new coworker — and the CEO’s son — is an old one-night stand! “A whimsical story” (Publishers Weekly) full of laughs and heart. Book 2: Intermediate Thermodynamics Between her job as an aerospace engineer and her knitting club, Esther doesn’t have time for romance. But when her annoying neighbor, Jonathan, agrees to date her best friend in exchange for help with his screenplay, Esther finds her dislike of him morphing into attraction… Book 3: Advanced Physical Chemistry Curvy chemical engineer Penny swears off men until she can figure out why they keep cheating on her. But her no-men resolution hits a snag when the superhumanly hot barista at her favorite coffee shop gives her the kiss of her life. A 2019 RITA® Award winner! Grab the whole set and settle in for three hilariously heartwarming and addictive romances. Each book features a different couple with their own happy ever after and no cliffhangers.
Categories: Fiction

Indigo

Indigo

Kelso, Red, and Hyde had been named after her three favorite characters from That 70's Show, which turned out to have been a generous gesture on her part because the cats were assholes. Nora told anyone who would listen, My cats are ...

Author: Charlaine Harris

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 9781466888357

Category: Fiction

Page: 352

View: 595

In a brilliant collaboration by New York Times and critically acclaimed coauthors Charlaine Harris, Christopher Golden, Kelley Armstrong, Jonathan Maberry, Kat Richardson, Seanan McGuire, Tim Lebbon, Cherie Priest, James A. Moore, and Mark Morris join forces to bring you a crime-solving novel like you’ve never read before. Investigative reporter Nora Hesper spends her nights cloaked in shadows. As Indigo, she’s become an urban myth, a brutal vigilante who can forge darkness into weapons and travel across the city by slipping from one patch of shadow to another. Her primary focus both as Nora and as Indigo has become a murderous criminal cult called the Children of Phonos. Children are being murdered in New York, and Nora is determined to make it stop, even if that means Indigo must eliminate every member. But in the aftermath of a bloody battle, a dying cultist makes claims that cause Indigo to question her own origin and memories. Nora’s parents were killed when she was nineteen years old. She took the life insurance money and went off to explore the world, leading to her becoming a student of meditation and strange magic in a mountaintop monastery in Nepal...a history that many would realize sounds suspiciously like the origins of several comic book characters. As Nora starts to pick apart her memory, it begins to unravel. Her parents are dead, but the rest is a series of lies. Where did she get the power inside her?
Categories: Fiction

Genuine Fraud

Genuine Fraud

“People are assholes, as the story you just told completely proves. ... a packet of tissues from her bag and used one to wipe her forehead “When have you ever seen a horse be an asshole? ... “Cats are assholes, then,” the driver said.

Author: E. Lockhart

Publisher: Bonnier Publishing Fiction Ltd.

ISBN: 9781471406638

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 320

View: 341

Soon to be a major motion picture produced by stars of HBO series GIRLS, Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner From the author of the unforgettable bestseller WE WERE LIARS comes a suspenseful new psychological thriller - the story of a young woman whose diabolical smarts are her ticket into a charmed life. But how many times can someone reinvent themselves? You be the judge. Imogen is a runaway heiress, an orphan, a cook, and a cheat. Jule is a fighter, a social chameleon, and an athlete. An intense friendship. A disappearance. A murder, or maybe two. A bad romance, or maybe three. Blunt objects, disguises, blood, and chocolate. The American dream, superheroes, spies, and villains. A girl who refuses to give people what they want from her. A girl who refuses to be the person she once was. ----- Praise for GENUINE FRAUD 'Addictive and shocking feminist thriller' Lena Dunham 'A brilliant, twisty thriller--I loved it!' Karen M McManus, bestselling author of One Of Us Is Lying 'It is so good and you will devour it in one sitting. Then re-read it immediately.' @gayleforman (Gayle Forman on Twitter) 'Compelling and unique, I was absolutely hooked' Jenny Blackhurst, bestselling author of How I Lost You 'It's a captivating, suspenseful story made all the more bewitching by Lockhart's twisty narrative' Booklist 'An excellent choice recommended for teens and adults who love twisty mysteries and tough-as-nails teen girls' School Library Journal, starred review 'Lockhart blends the privileged glamour of WE WERE LIARS with a twisty, backward-running plot that's slick with cinematic violence. A bracing pace, a slew of far-flung locations, and a storyline that runs mostly in reverse will keep readers on their toes, never entirely sure of what these girls are responsible for or capable of.' Publishers Weekly
Categories: Young Adult Fiction

Do I Feel Better Yet

Do I Feel Better Yet

Current Perception: Cats are assholes. Rebrand: Cats are mysterious and aloof. Think of them as the animal equivalent of Tilda Swinton: completely unfathomable, bordering on alien, and yet absolutely mesmerizing.

Author: Madeleine Trebenski

Publisher: Chronicle Books

ISBN: 9781797212555

Category: Humor

Page: 240

View: 917

If you've ever dared to express dissatisfaction with the state of your life, you've inevitably received a variety of helpful suggestions: "Have you tried meditation? Exercise? A cult? An exercise cult?" In Do I Feel Better Yet?, Madeleine Trebenski explores more than 45 so-called solutions suggested to her in the name of self-care. In a playful and at times sardonic chronicle of the elusive promises of multistep skin-care routines, gratitude journaling, scented candles, and more, Trebenski perfectly captures what it's like to live in a time when homemade kombucha and weighted blankets are said to single-handedly solve all our problems. These essays will make you laugh, make you feel less alone, and maybe make you feel better—even if just for a little while.
Categories: Humor

God Level Knowledge Darts

God Level Knowledge Darts

CATS ARE ASSHOLES. THEY WILL WAIT FOR YOU TO DO A LOAD OF DARKS AND HAVE IT OUT ON YOUR BED TO FOLD, THEN ROLLAROUND IN ITSO YOU PULLUP TO THE FUNCTION LOOKIN LIKEA DISHEVELED CAT LADY ANOTHER THING TO CONSIDER IS THAT CAT SHIT DRIVES ...

Author: Desus & Mero

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 9780525512349

Category: Humor

Page: 224

View: 753

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Desus & Mero are smarter and funnier than everyone writing books.”—Shea Serrano “I will never write anything as hilarious as they have. I give up.”—Malcolm Gladwell “These motherf***ers make me laugh until I choke.”—Jia Tolentino NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY NPR A wild, hilarious guide to life from the hosts of the hit late-night show Desus & Mero and the Bodega Boys podcast Who could have predicted that, after a fateful meeting in a Bronx summer school in the 1990s, Desus & Mero would turn their friendship into an empire of talking to each other. And it’s no surprise—tuning in to them is like listening to the funniest, smartest people you know dissect a topic and then light it on fire. Now they’ve written the most essential guide to life of this century*, in which all the important questions are asked: How do I talk to my kids about drugs if I do them, too? What are the ethics of ghosting in a relationship? How do I bet on sports? How should I behave in jail? How much is too much to spend on sneakers? Is porn really that bad for me? As they put it: “We want to share all we’ve learned, after years in the Bronx streets, with you: the people. So with a lifetime spent building up a plethora of information from trials and tribulations and a handful of misdemeanors, we decided to write this book—a sequel to the Bible, or maybe to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,depending on how big a nerd you are. Let this book be your North Star.” *NO REFUNDS
Categories: Humor

Let s Pretend This Never Happened

Let s Pretend This Never Happened

Or because these cats are assholes. I'm leaning toward the latter, because these same cats just murdered Hailey's pet frogs today. It was a goddamn massacre. First snakes, then the frogs, then a plague of scorpions.

Author: Jenny Lawson

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9781101573082

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 384

View: 121

The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside
Categories: Biography & Autobiography