You Know You ve Reached Middle Age If

You Know You ve Reached Middle Age If

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of ... of Congress has cataloged an earlier printing as follows : Green , Joey You know you've reached middle age if- ...

Author: Joey Green

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

ISBN: 0740769758

Category: Humor

Page: 148

View: 926

You Know You've Reached Middle Age If . . . is a requiem to retirement. For boomers celebrating their official entry into middleagedom or those just on the cusp, Joey Green and Alan Corcoran offer hundreds of humorous defining moments that even the youngest at heart can't dispute.
Categories: Humor

Just Humor Me

Just Humor Me

SOME OF THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE WERE WHEN I WAS 29 OR YOU KNOW YOU'VE REACHED MIDDLE AGE WHEN.... Like the venerable Jack Benny, we all tend to live our lives in stages. One of Benny's trademarks was his “eternal youth.

Author: Howard Noel

Publisher: iUniverse

ISBN: 9780595285570

Category: Humor

Page: 247

View: 236

If you have ever lived with Uncle Merle, you are probably laughing out loud, right now. If you haven't lived with him, that's too bad. Howard Noel, the author of Just Humor Me brought to these pages a hilarious look at the funny side of family life. And at his side is Uncle Merle. Uncle Merle is wise. He is "steely strong" and opinionated. He is experienced and stubborn. He listens to everyone. He just doesn't pay attention. He understands the world around him, and is quick to let you know it. Uncle Merle can make sense of the most complex issues and problems. He will reduce his intellectual competitor to tears of frustration, and his audience to tears of laughter. For after it all...Uncle Merle is a hilarious representation of the conventional wisdom of this day. Just Humor Me is a collection of the best of the syndicated column The Front Porch. It is from that porch that family, neighborhood and community problems are discussed and solved every week. This collection of lively essays gives us an intimate look into the world of the author, his family, his neighbors, and of course, the venerable Uncle Merle.
Categories: Humor

My Poetic Phrases and Quotations

My Poetic Phrases and Quotations

Phillis Diller Middle age is when you're willing to get up and give your seat to a lady and can't. You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.Bob Hope I smoke cigars because at my age if I ...

Author: Charlie Walker

Publisher: charles walker

ISBN: 9780953743209

Category:

Page: 146

View: 139

Categories:

You Know You Need a Vacation If

You Know You Need a Vacation If

Other Books by Joey Green and Alan Corcoran Hellbent on Insanity You Know You've Reached Middle Age If . . . Senior Moments Champagne and Caviar Again? Too Old for MySpace, Too Young for Medicare Other Books by Joey Green The Gilligan's ...

Author: Joey Green

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

ISBN: 9780740777080

Category: Humor

Page: 257

View: 395

We must declare war on the disease of hyperefficiency and reembrace the American virtues of laziness, indolence, and sloth. . . . Workers of the world unite! . . . Take a vacation! . . . You have nothing to lose but your health insurance." --You Know You Need a Vacation If . . . You Know You Need a Vacation If . . . is a compelling read for the 80 percent of the workforce who feel they are overworked and for the more than 35 percent of employees who annually forfeit their vacations. If you begin using your cell phone before leaving your driveway, or if you have no idea what your house looks like in daylight, this book is for you. Joey Green and Alan Corcoran offer more than 250 additional telltale signs that you're, indeed, in need of some downtime. In the spirit of workplace-humor sensations like The Office, Dilbert, and Office Space, You Know You Need a Vacation If . . . advises taking a vacation if: * You dial 9 for an outside line-from home. * You've paid $35 for missing a dentist appointment. * The only church you attend is in turbulence at 35,000 feet. * You stay five-hours late at the office "to avoid rush hour traffic.
Categories: Humor

The Mammoth Book of One Liners

The Mammoth Book of One Liners

The bad thing is that pretty soon yourteeth will be floating in it. Have you heard about the new bra for middleaged women? It's called the You know you've reached middle age when the only thing you care to exercise is caution.

Author: Geoff Tibballs

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 9781780335360

Category: Humor

Page: 624

View: 811

A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
Categories: Humor

Business Wit Wisdom

Business Wit   Wisdom

You've heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and “you're looking wonderful!” —Francis Joseph, Cardinal Spellman You know you've reached middle age if you can remember when your favorite movie couple burst into song instead ...

Author: Richard Zera

Publisher: Beard Books

ISBN: 9781587982569

Category: Humor

Page: 316

View: 590

Appropriate for any public speaker looking for an icebreaker, this reference collects humorous quips and words of wisdom from primarily famous authors, politicians, and entertainers as far back as Aristotle. The 2,000 plus quotes are arranged into approximately 200 categories, such as age, communication, education, lawyers, money, prayer, sports, a
Categories: Humor

Humorous Wit

Humorous Wit

When you're old, you do everything to not displease. Unknown You know you're getting older when almost everything hurts ... and whatever doesn't hurt doesn't work ... Unknown You've reached middle age when all you exercise is caution.

Author: Djamel Ouis

Publisher: Paragon Publishing

ISBN: 9781782225829

Category: Humor

Page: 872

View: 565

Humorous Wit is a new compilation of quotations in their most humoristic form. There are over 15,000 of these taken from various parts of the world, with over 1,200 of them translated into English for the first time. This book features 5,000 authors from every corner of the globe, covering a period starting before classical antiquity, when man first started to record his thoughts, to modern times, enriching the cultural heritage. This does not in any way mean that the caveman was less humorous, but the richness of the environment we live in today and the variety of subject matter contribute considerably to a refined sense of humour. Moreover, considering that chimps and other primates also possess the ability to laugh, humour may have been around longer than the human race : )
Categories: Humor

Dictionary of Proverbs

Dictionary of Proverbs

I think you did ; for somehow I know that your feeling for me , however slight it is , is of the nature of love . ... You're in middle age when you realize you have more on your mind and less on your head . You're not old until it takes ...

Author: G.kleiser

Publisher: APH Publishing

ISBN: 8176488143

Category:

Page: 316

View: 478

Categories:

Old Git Wit and Wisdom

Old Git Wit and Wisdom

Middle age is the time in life when, after pulling in your stomach, you look as if you ought to pull in your stomach. ANONYMOUS Middle age is ... You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

Author: Richard Benson

Publisher: Summersdale Publishers LTD - ROW

ISBN: 9781786854261

Category: Humor

Page: 208

View: 409

‘The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.’ Virginia Woolf So you’re getting on a bit, but even if your body creaks more than it used to, you’ve still got your sense of humour. This collection of witty quotations and gems of senior sagacity will keep a spring in your step and the cobwebs at bay.
Categories: Humor

Naomi s Guide to Aging Gratefully

Naomi s Guide to Aging Gratefully

I'll offer, "You know, instead of being red from head to toe, can you throw in another color?" Have you noticed that matching is a problem with many women over fifty? ... (Know how you know if you've reached middle age?

Author: Naomi Judd

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9780743275163

Category: Health & Fitness

Page: 276

View: 344

The Grammy Award-winning country star challenges popular misconceptions about aging while sharing inspirational strategies on how to get in touch with one's inner beauty and enjoy the benefits of growing older, in a guide that counsels readers about fifteen life choices. Reprint. 60,000 first printing.
Categories: Health & Fitness